I picked up the greatest comic book pamphlet EVER from Chick Publications- courtesy of King James Bible Baptist Church in the subway tunnels around and about Times Square, where apparently King James Bible Baptist Church is targeting all of the heathens- me definitely included.

The moral of the comic is the same as the majority of Christian literature I have chanced upon. Do whatever you want throughout your life, but do not scorn the Lord.

The story is classic- Sonny is a mean kid known for bullying, who turns into an even meaner adult, who goes from merely hurting people to the worst crime imaginable in the span of four panels: he murders an old man for his money. If the picture of the murder is to be believed, and pictures are indeed worth a thousand words, you see an ugly, fat man dressed in black wielding a baseball bat behind a park bench where an old man who looks like a Simpson's character is reading the newspaper. Unfortunately, for the man in black, there was a witness to his crime and he was convicted.

The judge laid down the sentence with a pound on his gavel. "You will hang by your neck until you are dead."

Sonny is not popular in jail either, doesn't like the other inmates and even tells his sweet little old mother that he hates her and her cookies, but he  is still scared to die when his time comes.

On the day of the execution, Sonny is walked out into the yard instead of the gallows, when he learns that his mother was hung for Sonny's crimes. We do not learn in the comic whether or not Sonny is redeemed in more than the eyes of the law or if he continued his life of crime.

We do, however, learn that Sonny is not the only one who has had someone executed on their behalf.

God Almighty, in his infinite wisdom, started to record every sin made by man. He realized that all of these sins were keeping Heaven a pretty lonely place, so He "sent his son, Jesus, to earth to be executed for you."

The next panel asks a question for the ages: Who is this Jesus? The answer: He is God Almighty. The execution and the subsequent raising from the dead are then depicted using biblical quotes.

We are then given a lesson in asking for Jesus to save us and send us to heaven.
Similar to the words "Open Sesame", if we say, "Lord Jesus I repent of my sins and ask You to be my personal Lord and Savior", we open the doors to heaven.

However, if you "reject God's love gift, then you will be like Sonny......guilty!" God will give you a serious talking to. Think Samuel L. Jackson from Pulp Fiction for this scene.

"Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels."

Wow! I am thinking that their God is not the all-loving all-forgiving type so much as a I thought......sounds like Heaven is actually run by another Dictator disguised by nice robes or at the very least a jilted lover......

I have nothing against Christianity or Christians in general, but I am so tired of the politics and religions of fear. If you have to scare me with the threat of ever-lasting damnation to join your religion, I'm probably not going to be so excited to join your congregation.