Virgin Mary Graces Us with Tree Stump Manifestation

I still don’t think this is as good as the “Virgin Mary Appears in Toast” years ago, but this new appearance in Ireland still has people perplexed and impressed to the point of paying respects to the little stump.

Thousands of people have visited the tree stump, which is in a rural churchyard located in Limerick, County. Apparently, while cutting down a bunch of trees last Monday, some workers found the stump at the Holy Mary Parish Church in Rathkeale.

You think Mary’s trying to tell folks to quit cutting down trees?

Noel White, Rathkeale Community Council Graveyard Committee Chairman, says that one of the workers exclaimed, “Look, our Blessed Lady in the tree!” and knelt down, blessing himself in shock.

Now thousands of people have signed a petition to make the stump a permanent fixture of the church.

You know, as many times as I’ve seen elephants, S&M equipment and Johnny Depp in cloud formations, I don’t think I’ve ever gotten so psyched about it that I thought the ephemeral phenomenon should be made into a national monument or totem of religious pilgrimage.

I say the people switch the petition to “No cutting down church trees” to avoid the wrath of Stumpy Mary.

Even the parish’s priest, Father Willie Russell, could care less about Mary’s bark, which is apparently worse than her bite.

He says, “I have seen the tree… it’s only a tree.”

Good call, Father.

The Catholic Church of Ireland—which, let’s face it, hasn’t always made such good calls in the past, especially with the recent investigations of large-scale child abuse and molestation over decades of time in Catholic schools—also maintains that the tree’s not so special.

Limerick diocese spokesman Father Paul Finnerty says, “The Church’s response to phenomena of this type is one of great skepticism.” This from a group that drinks the blood and eats the body of their primary figure as a religious sacrament and denounces gays while allowing their prime figurehead, the Pope, to dress like Freddy Mercury.

Go figure.

I wonder what happens when people find Hitler’s face in a half-eaten bagel? My guess is that they eat it and tell no one.

You can see a video of Virgin Mary’s tree stump here. What do you think? Is it legit? Do you think Mary’s telling the world to stop cutting down trees? Or is it just even more religious hocus pocus in a world of smoke and mirrors?